Ever Wonder Why There's No Lightning When It Snows
by Delphi1138
Summary: Post Game. Snow never realized that Lightning had a sense of humor, bizarre and twisted as it may be. But Snow might have more than he bargained for when an accidental prank war is started between him and "Sis" with poor Serah caught in the middle.
1. Kiss of the Behemoth

**Authors Notes:** I was inspired to write this by real life events and by the Crystal Hearts contest by haikomori. Feel free to skip to the story after this point. It's right down there.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own Final Fantasy XIII. If I did, as much as I love the game, I would have written a few scenes different.

**Thanks** to SpiritAdept for beta reading my chapters and giving me more ideas for more chapters. Very special thanks to my sister and her boyfriend for inspiring this series of one shots in the first place. Please don't kill me for sharing, kk? :D

This is my first fanfic ever revealed to the public so be gentle.

* * *

Saturday morning. Or as close to morning as Lightning got on the weekends. After a week of busting her butt for the reorganized Guardian Corp trying to make the old Pulse cities livable, weekends were a wonderful relief. Time to just sleep off the stress.

That was the idea anyways.

In reality the distant sounds of some kind of scuffle drew Lightning out of her weekend coma prematurely. All attempts to re-initiate her hibernation were in vain. Well as long as she was awake she might as well get the day started. Maybe a shower would wake her up.

So to keep with normal habits she'd cultivated in her time in her new home, she threw her legs over the side of the bed and bare feet met the cold floor. Already her morning routine was interrupted as she immediately removed her feet from the freezing paneling. She'd forgotten that Pulse didn't have climate control and weather was whatever the atmosphere decided to dump onto them that day. Today it appeared it would be cold. Maybe she should have worn socks to bed that night. She only hoped it wouldn't snow…

A loud thump roused her farther from her coveted sleep from the direction of Serah's bedroom.

Her wish would not be granted today. There was definitely Snow.

A bit unsteady, the older Farron sister decided she would commandeer the bathroom before anyone else laid claim to it. So to greet the day, the groggy woman opened her bedroom door…and was welcomed by a pink blur rushing by then suddenly reappearing much closer.

The younger Farron girl backtracked and met Lightning's blank yet still somehow pleading look with her own mischievous grin. "Good morning, sis!" Serah chirped cheerfully and Lightning had to resist the idea of putting her recently rescued sister into a headlock for being such an obnoxious morning person.

Instead Lightning replied eloquently with something between a grunt and a "meh".

"Snow let himself in. He wanted to show me something," Serah continued, interpreting her sister's morning moods.

"Hey Sis! Looking good!" Snow interjected as he caught up to Serah, interrupting the explanation of why her weekend routine was destroyed today.

Now this one she had no qualms about putting into a headlock and forcing to the ground in submission. Especially since Lightning looked far from "good". Nothing about untamed, cow licked bed head matched with an over-sized t-shirt and flannel pajama pants deserved the observation of "looking good". Obviously he was mocking her. This would be remedied later.

Taking Lightning's lack of an answer to mean he was supposed to continue talking (an idea that was the exact opposite of what she wanted) Snow decided to relate that morning's adventure since he let himself in: "Serah pushed me off the bed again…" Now that did cause the corner of Light's mouth to tug upwards a fraction. That would explain the thump from earlier. Teach him to let himself in and scare Serah in the morning.

"So I heard." The first words out of Lightning's mouth this weekend of course would be some kind of deadpan snark.

"I wanted to give her behemoth kiss!" Snow exclaimed playfully as Serah scoffed in the background. He then looked down his nose with those obnoxiously lucid blue eyes twinkling with mischief. Like always. Like Serah's often did now. She knew he was a bad influence. "Do you want a behemoth kiss?"

"No."

The answer was short and left no room for arguing. So she thought.

"You sure?" Snow pushed, drawing out the last syllable like the moronic emphasis would change her mind.

"Yes."

"Come on!"

"No."

The path to the bathroom was now blocked by the big oaf's frame. Initial plans for the morning were shot. Time for a different route. Instead of doing what first came to mind, slamming the door and threatening all who dared defile the sanctity of her weekend with unimaginable pain and suffering, she instead shuffled past Snow and Serah into the kitchen.

Fortunately Serah had taken the hint and had forgone trying to initiate conversation with her older sibling until after eleven in the morning. Snow, being the good little lapdog he was, followed Serah back to her room.

However peace did not last. Only moments later did Lightning hear her sister shriek and there was yet another loud thump.

"Owwww. Ow ow ow! I landed on your belt!" Came Snow's wounded call.

"Serves you right!" Serah retorted.

"You're always so mean to me! You shove me off the bed! Like, a lot!

Okay, now her interest was piqued. Not to mention if Snow were to be trying something less than chivalrous, much ass kicking would be had. Lightning poked her head back down the hallway and saw Snow on the ground next to the bed, Serah perched triumphantly atop the mattress.

"What happened?" Lighting called to the room. On second thought, she was pretty sure she already knew what happened. Instead she shook her head to push the thought away. "Okay fine. Show me what a behemoth kiss is-" Snow immediately perked up at this request but was crestfallen as Lightning pointed to Serah and finished. "On her."

"I tried!" Snow exclaimed. "That's why I'm on the floor!"

"Now I really don't want one," Lightning muttered as she returned to her room. The door was shut with just enough force to let the other occupants of the residence know she was in no mood to be bothered. That was enough crazy for the morning.

Up less than an hour and things were not looking stellar. On top of that, she still didn't know what a behemoth kiss was.

Today was going to be one of those days.

So why is it that so often where there's Snow there's no Lightning? Simple. They just don't mix.

* * *

**End Notes:** Ah family. Gotta love 'em, right? Otherwise you're put in jail for murder. And that's not good for anyone. Hope you enjoyed it. Will be writing more adventures of the Farron/Villiers family so if you liked this keep a look out for more.


	2. Dirty Dining

**Author's Notes:** Thanks to everyone who reviewed my first chapter! Getting so much positive feedback and the constructive criticism was enough to get me motivated to finish the second chapter so quickly.

I showed the first chapter to my sister and she loved it. She's on board now with helping me get ideas. SpiritAdept has been an amazing beta reader and wellspring of new ideas when I need a new one.

And big thanks to haikomori for accepting this fic into her Crystal Hearts contest!

* * *

At eleven o' clock on the dot, Lightning emerged from her bedroom. The weirdness factor had since worn off and she found herself ready for the day. That or she was too hungry to stay cooped up in her sanctuary any longer. If anyone asked, it was the first one.

Silently she drifted down the hall, deciding what she'd have for breakfast. Despite it being almost lunch time, it was still the first meal of the day and therefore breakfast. Cereal sounded good this morning. She hoped Serah got the good stuff last time she went shopping instead of that health food crap.

"But aren't you worried about being healthy for the corp?" Serah had asked, confused at her sister's request of something that didn't resemble tree bark. "Thanks for the concern," Lighting had replied a bit drier than she intended. "But that doesn't mean I have to eat this crap. I make it up the rest of the day. Get something that doesn't taste like dirt next time." At least they argued about stupid things like cereal instead of money. If that's all she and Serah had to fight about after living together for so long, she'd take it.

The kitchen was already being used but Lightning didn't mind. Not like cereal required a stove. Snow and Serah were arguing about the best way to have eggs. Serah liked them scrambled with ham and cheese. Snow liked his cooked in bacon grease. Eventually after fighting to a draw and much pushing and squeaking on Serah's part later, Snow grabbed a separate pan and made his eggs how he wanted. Which, Lightning realized, meant there would be bacon. Idly she wondered if he would be sharing with the rest of them.

"There! Problem solved! And no one got hurt!" He proclaimed proudly as he tossed the bacon I the pan. Now he was tempting fate. Lightning was close enough she could probably elbow him in the stomach…but in the end she decided against it and went on her merry way.

Lightning opened the cupboards and found that Serah had granted her request and got something with sugar. She really did have a sweet sister.

"Morning again, sis! Still rockin' those pajama pants!" Snow welcomed Lightning with a thumbs up and a wink. That's right…she hadn't changed yet.

"Shut it," Lightning retorted though there was no harshness in her tone. She grabbed a bowl from the dishwasher and as an afterthought also grabbed the tea kettle. It was still a bit chilly and cider sounded good. She filled up the kettle and squeezed between Snow and Serah to place it on the back burner.

"Hope you don't mind," Lightning mumbled as she reached between the two. Snow helpfully turned on the burner as Lightning muttered a "thanks" . Her task complete she sat down at the table and started into her cereal. A few minutes later she was joined by Serah and Snow who had decided to literally kiss and make up.

"I think it worked out better this way," Serah said with a quick nod as she placed a plate of bacon in the middle of the table. "Everyone's got what they wanted. Even Clare , even though she won't admit it," Serah teased in a singsong voice as she caught Lightning in the act of swiping a piece of bacon. Lightning merely shrugged and shoved the strip into her mouth in reply. She refused to answer to Clare when in the company of others.

Breakfast was quiet for a few minutes before Snow took it upon himself to start up a conversation. "So..." he began, not really having a conversational destination in mind. "I didn't really grow up with much of a family but Yuj tells me there's certain rules when it comes to the dinner table. Stuff you talk about and stuff you don't."

Lightning gave an inelegant snort and waved her hand. "Not in our family," she started. Serah took over.

"Yeah, we don't really have much that's taboo at the dinner table. Politics, religion, romance, nasty stuff. Clare was telling me over lunch last week about some gross carcass she tripped over and fell-"

"Serah," Lightning interrupted in a warning tone. No one needed to know about her little misadventure near the river. Especially not Snow.

"Okay so the only things taboo at this dinner table are things that make Lightning look bad. Got it," Snow finished. "Mind if I try it out?" He asked with a teasing look towards Lightning. She merely shrugged again. To Snow it looked like an affirmative shrug. He looked to his darling Serah and she nodded.

"I doubt you'll find anything that'd make us run for the hills," she said before going back to her meal. Snow gave a low chuckle.

"That sounds like a challenge to me," the gentle giant announced. "And heroes never back down!" He managed to miss the exaggerated eye rolling from Lightning.

"Alright, hero. Impress us," Serah challenged.

It took Snow a minute before he realized he had no ammo. For all his talk he really didn't have anything earth shatteringly shocking. And he knew that's what it would take to push the boundaries. Lightning and Serah exchanged knowing glances before Serah took over.

"Right, so you got nothing?" Serah teased as she put her elbows on the table and rested her chin in her hands. "Not even dirt on Lebreau? She looks like she'd be into some kinky stuff."

Snow looked at his fiancé as if she'd decked him like Lightning. "Serah, not everyone has a deep, dark fetish secret! I mean, look at Light! I'm sure she's completely normal!"

"I have a whip."

"See she has a-you have a what?" Snow found himself back peddling as that was the last answer in the world he was expecting. Especially from Lightning. He stared in shock at his soon to be sister in law, but she continued to munch on her cereal in silence.

"But..." He started slowly. "It's just a joke thing, right? I mean you don't use it on anyone, right?"

"Wrong."

Snows eyes were getting bigger by the second. Serah seemed to be taken aback as well. He was almost afraid to ask his next question but he managed to get it out after a few false starts.

"Who-Who do you use it on?"

"Hope."

At this Snow was speechless and Serah could only stare.

"Gotta make him act like a good little soldier somehow," Lightning elaborated, fishing the last bits of cereal from her bowl.

Apparently it was far too much for Snow as at this last comment he took off out the door. Lightning picked up the bowl and drank the remaining milk from her cereal, concealing a triumphant smirk as the door slammed closed

"You are joking, right?" Serah interrupted the silence. "I mean, I know you got that whip as a gag gift from the Guardian Corp when they found out I was engaged. You don't actually use it on anyone." Lightning merely gave an evil grin in reply.

"You…you do use it on Hope? That little kid?" Serah was now standing by the table, clearly disgusted. "You're lying!"

"Of course I am," Lightning finally relented with a snicker. "But I knew it would gross out your fiancé."

Eleven thirty six in morning. Lightning one. Snow zero.


	3. But Who's Keeping Score Anyways?

**Author's Notes: I admit it. I am a demented human being. That is the only excuse I have for this chapter. At least it's full of lulz. I think. This is one that is not based on a real life event. Thank goodness. But poor, poor Lightning.**

**Thank you all for the reviews and I'm sorry I can't reply to all of you one by one! But believe me, all of your support is what's encouraging me not to give up on my fledgling fanfic career!**

**2/22/2011 - Just fixing a typo I noticed that was driving me crazy...  
**

* * *

That stain was not on the couch yesterday. Lightning was sure of it. So what in the name of Cocoon and Pulse was this doing here _now_?

The soldier continued to glare at the stain, as if somehow it would disappear instead of take such punishment. But alas, the stain persisted.

"Maybe if I close my eyes it'll go away," Lightning muttered, knowing how stupid the idea sounded but she was willing to try anything. Eyes closed and all she saw was the blackness that accompanied the action. She counted to three silently and opened her eyes.

There it stayed. Almost imperceptible amidst the ridiculous beige and floral print of the couch Lightning and Serah had acquired was a dried spot of something whi-something...something...she couldn't continue the thought. All she knew is she had to get rid of it yet didn't want to touch it. Which is why she had called Sazh.

"Alright, what's so terrible that Soldier Girl needed to call in civilians?" The middle aged man called out to announce his presence as he walked through the door into the living room.

Lightning's gaze did not leave the couch. She pointed to the offending spot. "There."

"What's there?" a higher and less mature voice chimed in. Lightning knew that voice. She spun about and faced Sazh, face slack with horror.

"You brought, HOPE?" Lightning all but shrieked.

"Well yeah, why not? Kid and I were volunteering in the outskirts of town to clear it out," Sazh explained as he rubbed his pinky finger in his ear. Who know Lightning's voice could get so high? Hope looked like he'd been hit with a stopga, green eyes wide open for a good thirty seconds before his posture fell and it was obvious he felt completely dejected.

"Guess she didn't want to see me..." the silver haired teenager mumbled.

"Sazh this is a very delicate and mature operation! I have reason to believe that Snow and...Snow and..." Lightning scolded then trailed off as she went and stood behind Hope. The boy winced, wondering if she was literally going to kick him out. Instead she clapped her hands over the boy's ears and her voice lowered to a whisper. "Snow and Serah did **_it_** on the couch! Look!" She nodded in the direction of the couch to Sazh to investigate. "How else do you explain that? Right on my favorite spot too! He knows that's my spot!" All Sazh could do was stifle a laugh as calm, collected Lightning went to pieces right in front of him. All because of a stain.

"Okay I know you're covering my ears but I'm not deaf or two years old, Light," Hope chimed in sounding more than a little disgruntled. "Not like I don't know what kind of stain you're talk-Ow!" Hope didn't have time to finish that thought as Lightning scoffed and removed her hands from his ears to give him what passed for a gentle smack upside of the head. She stood before the couch once more, arms crossed and gaze leveled at her enemy.

"If I were still a l'cie I'd just kill it with fire," she deadpanned. "However, there are matches in the kitchen..." she mused, her gaze drifting to where the living room opened to the kitchen and hallway.

"Aw, come on Light. Don't you think you're overreacting a little?" Sazh asked, trying to be the voice of reason as he placed a calming hand on Lightning's shoulder. He tried to manage one of his goofy grins to try to calm her.

"No, I don't think I am," she retorted angrily. "That monster has deflowered my innocent little sister! On top of that do you know what this means? She could get pregnant! They're not married! There's no extra room in this place! And to top it all off! Her. Having. **His**! Spawn!"

"Now, now Light, you knew they were gonna get down to it eventually. I mean, their wedding is only a few months away," Sazh attempted again the comforting words but he instead found himself ducking from a flying fist.

"Not Serah! Not like that! My sister wouldn't do that before getting married! She's a good girl!" The hysterical Farron exclaimed as she fell into the recliner.

Sazh tilted his head to the side and examined Lightning for a full minute. Hope was meanwhile shaking his head before palm met face and he exclaimed quietly to himself, "That was not a mental image I ever needed!"

"See, Hope understands! Now he's scarred for life too!" Lightning exclaimed as she covered her face with her hands.

"Light," Sazh started, knowing that his was dangerous territory. "So you're upset because Serah and Snow are doin' it before they're hitched? So does that mean that you've nev-"

"This is not about me." Lightning said quietly, coolly, and with a tone and look that continued what was so far left unsaid: Push it and I will castrate you on the spot.

"Okay, okay. Forget I asked!" Sazh quickly backpedaled not only in speech but physically. "But you know," He picked up, clearing his throat as he tried not to let the distraught woman destroy him. "They're probably not doing the dirty, you know? No need to worry about your sister getting knocked up or anything. Besides, there's other ways they can enjoy themselves without the risk of her getti-"

"Sazh. Out. Now."

"But-"

"NOW!" the overprotective sister roared. Sazh took this advice and decided to leave.

"Alright, Hope, let's go. I'm sure Light can figure this out herself," Sazh said quickly before grabbing the still somewhat dazed young man and driving him out the door by the shoulders.

**~*~Three Hours Later~*~**

"You know that girl needs to take a vacation before she gives herself a stroke," Sazh mused as he wiped the sweat from his brow. He rested his arms and leaned into the shovel he was using to clear the rubble from the ancient city. Hope was playing with gravity mana drive, trying to make the thing work so their lives would be easier.

"Yeah well I'm still not convinced that was the real Lightning. Sure that wasn't a fal'Cie illusion back from the dead to mess with us a little more?" The boy replied as he twisted wires here and there.

"Hey! Thought I'd find you guys here!" a new playful and distinctly male voice called out. However the owner of the voice stopped dead in his giant tracks as he met the twin glares of his former l'Cie companions. Snow put a hand behind his head and chuckled halfheartedly. "Come on guys, I know I'm a little late but what's with the patented Pissed-Off Lightning Death Glare, huh?"

Snow met Hope's glare for a minute before the boy made a strange "nng!" noise and broke off the glare while visibly going paler.

"O...kay...What's with the kid?" Snow asked, jamming a thumb in the mumbling Hope's direction.

"Lightning told us what you did on that couch," Sazh started. "You tryin' to kill that girl?"

"Did to the couch...did to the couch..." Snow wondered aloud, a devilish grin crossing his features as he scratched at his scruffy chin. "You wouldn't happen to mean that strategically placed drip of ice cream, would you?"

"Ice cream? What the Hell are you talkin' about? Didn't you and Serah...you know?" Sazh now looked completely and utterly lost.

"All Serah and I did on that couch was watch a movie with ice cream and I happened to accidentally spill something on her favorite spot," Snow explained with a wink.

"Wait so...that's it?" Hope piped up, equally lost. The mana drive was completely forgotten at his side.

"Yeah well she had it coming. I'm guessing she forgot to mention that she has unofficially declared a prank war, huh?" Snow asked, scratching at his stubble again. "And I figure if you're going after Lightning, you can't go at it half-assed. No, you gotta go to the extremes to get her all riled up. And it sounds like I've succeeded."

"Yeah well you got her all concerned that you have, and I quote, 'deflowered my innocent little sister'," Sazh continued with a withering look. These kids and their prank wars. Someone was gonna get hurt one of these days. Or someone else would get caught in the crossfire.

"Alright, alright. I'll tell her the truth. Hope, you get to be the messenger boy and tell her what really happened!" Snow declared and pointed a finger at the confused teen.

"Whyyyy?" Hope asked, clearly expecting Snow's logic to be completely flawed.

"Because out of you, me, and Sazh," Snow pointed to each in turn. "You're the least likely to get decked."

"How comforting," Hope replied, words dripping with sarcasm. "Fine I'll do it."

Today Snow had achieved complete and total victory!

Snow one, Lightning...Well who's keeping score anyways?


	4. Identity Crisis

**A/N: You know what the downside is about you and your sister lookingt like twins at glance? Sometimes mistakes happen. Fortunately what happened below is not a true to life scenario. Now watch it happen to me tomorrow.**

Suggested listening for more lulz: Center Fold by J. Geils Band.

* * *

Good day, good home, good fiancée. Life was amazingly perfect for Snow, he had decided on his walk home though the chilly afternoon. Even a good sis. Despite their little prank war that they had inadvertently started, he quite enjoyed having Lightning as part of his family. Sure they had pulled some doozies on each other but wasn't that what family was for?

He'd grown up an orphan. No brothers or sisters he could be close to. Gadot was like a brother and so was the rest of the NORA, but it was a family he'd put together himself. He supposed that he was putting together a new family now with Lightning as a sister being a good bonus. At least he wouldn't have to worry about if he had any daughters. Sure if any boy looked at them wrong, he'd give them what for. But with Lightning around, it'd be double the trouble. Yup, he'd have some good and protected kids.

Poor Lightning. He'd given her quite the scare the other day with that couch. To think a little bit of vanilla ice cream strategically placed on the piece of furniture would lead to him having the upper hand. Lightning couldn't look him straight in the face for a week without going bug eyed or turning red as a tomato. That was the best revenge. She might have one up on him in strategy but he knew what messed with that girl's mind. And the thought of him deflowering innocent little Serah was something he knew Lightning could not easily erase. Especially when done right under her nose.

Of course he was a gentleman and he let Serah make the decisions in that part of their relationship. Besides, if he didn't he'd probably be dead ten times before he hit the ground. He'd seen what Lightning did to some of the beasts on Pulse in their time as l'Cie. Didn't even have time to see it coming before they were beaten, gored, then splattered on the ground. And he liked his innards where they were. _Not_ on the pointy end of Lightning's gunblade.

Life was certainly good. He just had to look out for Lightning's next trick. The only problem was that she was something of an enigma to everyone. Worse, she had this way of luring you in with how serious she was. You didn't know you were playing right into her hands until it was too late. _And _because she was such a secretive person, you never knew when she was telling the truth.

He'd tried to call Lighting's bluff last time he thought he was being pranked only for Serah to try to signal him quietly that she was being completely serious. He'd completely missed that and ended up offending Lightning terribly. How was he supposed to know that little Miss Super Soldier _liked_ to cook deserts and was terribly offended when he joked it probably tasted like baked dire flan. For all he knew she'd baked something terrible and would make him eat it in front of Serah as revenge for the couch. Like dog poop cookies or something.

But nooooo, Lightning turned out to actually have a girly hobby…and really wasn't half bad when it came to making angel food cake. Who saw that one coming?

As he pondered this discovery he let himself into the Farron household like usual and looked about. Dead silent with no one in sight. At least in the living room and what he could see of the kitchen. Serah and Lightning's rooms were off to hall on the right.

Well he knew the path to Serah's well enough and figured he'd take a gander to see if his lovely lady was home. He walked down the short hall and saw that her door was open a crack and heard a bit of shuffling around. It was well known code to him now that unless the door was completely shut, it meant she didn't mind if anyone intruded. A quick peek to his right and he saw Lightning's closed door and heard no sounds within the room. Even better. The house was all his and Serah's.

He peeked through the cracked door and saw those beautiful, long legs that went on forever. Lavender fabric brushed just above her knees, showing enough to pique curiousity but leaving the rest to the imagination. His eyes traveled up and he caught a glimps of her front in the mirror. The neckline dropped into a dramatic V almost meeting the cinched fabric below her breasts. Damn, she was killing him in that dress. The thick straps at her shoulders only accentuated her features.

Finding he'd reached his limit he stepped quietly into the room, planning on surprising her.

"Hey Baby," he said into her ear, already hugging her around the middle. Something felt off...but he ignored it as his hands migrated south. "Didn't know you liked plunging ne-" Snow never got to finish that thought. Something was terribly wrong. Serah had gone stiff as a board. Afraid something might have happened to his dearest fiancee' he turned her about by the shoulders...only to be greeted by a wide eyed and obviously shocked Lightning.

"Light!" Snow exclaimed, pushing her away like she would spontaniously combust any second. The usually composed soldier looked absoultely scandalized, frozen in place as her brain tried to process what had just happened.

"I..." He began, knowing he only had seconds to live once she recovered. "I'll be in the living room, bye!" With that he made his retreat and hastilly slammed the door.

He'd just felt up Lightning Farron. He wasn't sure if he should be proud of himself or utterly disgusted. That was Sis for Cocoon's sake! Suddenly the bathroom looked plenty inviting.

**~*~*~*Ten Minutes Later*~*~*~**

Lightning sat in the lazy boy, adorned now in ratty sweats that covered more than usual and her arms crossed suspciously across her breasts. That trademark deathglare was leveled at Snow who was trying to make himself disappear into the couch across the room.

"You know to be fair, when you're all dolled up you do look like Serah from behi-"

"Shut up," Lightning demanded.

Against his better judgement, he continued. She was not innocent in this! He would prove it!

"Oh come Light, you were in Serah's room, dressed in her clothes, looking damn sexy! How was I supposed to know it was you?" Snow demanded. Lightning had no business stealing Serah's clothes after all. He was protecting his fiancee's possessions like a good boyfriend.

"Maybe the fact that I'm a good few inches taller? My hair's shorter? I have twenty pounds more muscle than her? I'm not even going into our posture!" Lightning listed, her tone dripping with venom.

"Serah wears heels sometimes, your hair was pulled forward, you're not exactly bulky, and that posture was **not** your typical Lightning!" Snow countered again.

The room stayed silent after that, the combatants sizing each other up.

"We never speak of this again," Lightning declred.

"Deal," Snow answered with a quick nod.

"Not even to Serah."

"Oh Hell no!"

Yet again that annoying silence found its way into the Farron living room. Of course Snow couldn't have that.

"But..." He began, knowing he was tempting fate. "Who knew Miss Model Soldier likes to look like a pretty girl every now and again."

Lightning's face flushed a bright red which made the glare creeping back to her stare quite the juxtposition. "You have ten seconds to change the subject. After that I claim no responsibilty for what happens to you."

"Ah come on Sis you did look pretty-"

"Ten."

"Good in that-"

"Nine."

"Sun dress. You know I-"

"Eight."

"Could probably set you up on a date-"

"_Seven."_

"But you're picky so-"

"Six."

"It'd have to be someone you know-"

"Five."

"Like Yuj or Hope!"

"FourThreeTwoOne, YOU'RE DEAD!" Before the one had even had a chance to grace her lips she had pounced at Snow, a throwpillow her makeshift weapon of choice. Lucky for our manly hero, he was already out the door and running like there was no tomorrow.

It would seem that today's match was forfeit due to embarassment.


End file.
